Scenes From A Playground

Pin It The weather 'round these parts has been unpredictable at best for the past month or so. One day it's pushing 90 degrees and the next day it's 60 degrees and raining. I mean, seriously? Get it together, Mother Nature. Get it together. Normally by mid-May we are in the high 80's, low 90's just about every day with bright sunny skies. We spend at least half the day outside with the sole intent of wearing out the children so they sleep earlier and longer. No lie.

So this week it seems that Mother Nature has finally gotten her act together and given us a string of beautiful days in the mid-to-high 80's. That means playground time! We are lucky enough to live just down the street from our neighborhood's playground & pool area. It's great because we don't have to pack everyone up and drive down to the amenities, we can just walk. I pity the moms on the other side of the 'hood who have to load everyone in the car to get to the playground and pool. I'd probably lose my keys at the park.

So yesterday after our weekly run to The Wal*Mart we took a stroll down to the playground to run off some excess energy. I love watching Mase and Zoey interact. They are so funny together. Here are a few scenes from yesterday that made me giggle.

Step 1: Stick a toddler on top of a slide.

Step 2: Tell her to go. Watch her face become mutinous and stubborn as she says NO.

Step 3: Big brother comes over to offer some encouragement.

Step 4: Toddler stubbornly refuses to move.

Step 5: Big Brother gives Toddler a shove down the slide. Chaos ensues.

So that was funny but not as funny as the following scene that took place a few minutes later. Matt high fived Mase when he heard this story.

Mase has been trying to work up the nerve to slide down the fireman's pole on the playground for about a year now. He is not a fan of heights, just like his mom. Finally he did it. He slid all the way down.

Of course, what do you think happens then? Zoey decides that she wants to play on the pole too. But she wants to climb up the pole.

Mase took one look at her on that pole and promptly put a stop to it. He told her that "poles are no place for girls". I snorted my drink up my nose when I heard him. I know he didn't realize exactly what he was saying but damn, it was funny. Matt wholeheartedly approved. Zoey's face when he told her to get off the pole was hysterically funny.

I guess we don't have to worry about Zoey when she gets older. Mase will keep her in line. Ha!

The kids had a blast. I got a ton of great pictures in the hour that we were there.

We had a great time and both kids took long naps when we got home. There will be many more playground trips in the near future if it means afternoon naps.

Shock & Awe In Real Life

Pin It I've had a few shock & awe moments in the last week. More shock but a little awe too. Someone asked me the other day how I found things to write about. As I told her- I don't have to find things, things find me. Seriously. I just have to watch those things happen. Truth.

*Driving down a main highway last week on the way to Mase's speech therapy I happened to be driving behind a lady who must think of herself as the world's best multitasker. She was texting on her phone- old school style not hands free- while applying lipstick and eating a cream cheese covered bagel. I'm not sure if this was more shock or awe. I get flustered trying to deal with my kids in the backseat while I'm driving. I'd hate to see what else she can do while driving.

*Going through the car rider line at Maia's school produced some interesting results the other day. A man stopped in front of my van to let his kid out. He was driving a super nice BMW, wearing a suit, and looked very banker-ish. I can say that because I'm married to one such banker-ish man. His kid opened the back door and empty beer bottles rolled out onto the ground. Not just one or two either- more like 8-10. The car rider nazi lady- she takes her stop sign duty very seriously- had to help him gather them up. I'm going to hope that he's collecting recycling...or has an alcoholic friend who borrows his car....

*While driving down the interstate at a speedy 85 mph the other day I got stuck beside a dude working on his laptop. Not kidding. We're cruising down one of the most congested interstates in our city and this dude is typing away with one hand. I had to do a double take. Then I tried to get away from him but I was boxed in. He was not paying attention and started drifting over enough that we ended up 4 wide in a 3 lane corner. I was not impressed, as evidenced by the one finger wave and sign language he received when he finally looked up. The fact that he was close enough to my van to read my lips was a shock....to him.

*While grocery shopping at The Wal*Mart last week I saw someone who totally should be featured on People of Wal*Mart. No kidding. I wanted so badly to snap a picture of him but he was holding a cane and I wasn't in the mood to be chased by a man wearing a skirt short enough to show off his junk. The fact that he had boobs bigger than mine did not stop him from wearing a see through spandex belly shirt to compliment his mini skirt and 6 inch heels. I came home and immediately sent the following text to Matt: If we hit the lotto I am never stepping foot in Wal*Mart again.

*The bug man came to do our quarterly killing of all things creepy and crawly around our house recently. As he was spraying on our back deck I noticed him stop and look up. All of a sudden he reached his long stick up towards the tree and a snake fell onto the deck. A snake. In the tree. Over my deck. It was just a black snake but let me assure you that does not make me feel any better. Do you understand what would happen if that snake happened to fall on the deck while I was out there? I think I have to move. Immediately.

Make sure you take a minute to enter for a chance to win a $100 Shell Fuel Gift Card on THIS POST! Everyone could use some free gas these days, right?!

Things That Made Me Laugh

Pin It I've spent countless hours on Pinterest this school year while waiting for kids at speech therapy or sports practice or the library. It's what I do. I always gravitate towards the humor section and then find myself trying not to laugh out loud in public. I get stared at a lot. I'm okay with this. Then I come home and show Matt all the funny things I re-pinned. He often shakes is head and pats me on the arm in pity. Men.

Today I thought I'd share a few of the gems that I've pinned in the past few months on my Just for Giggles board. These are the ones that make me laugh no matter how many times I've seen them.



















































I know, I know. I should probably be medicated. But have no fear- it's almost summer vacation which in my world means wine slushies, frozen margaritas, and a pool with multiple lifeguards on duty. Embrace the crazy, people. Embrace it.

A Happy Mother's Day

Pin It I hope all you mothers had a fantastic day yesterday!

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I had a great Mother's Day- especially considering it didn't actually start until 9am. Matt did a fantastic job of keeping all the lil monsters away from our bedroom and letting me sleep in until 9am. Well...technically I was awake by 7:30am but I'll be damned if I was going to get up that early on the one day a year when it's my right to sleep in. Instead I laid in bed by myself and read half of my newest book...uninterrupted. I didn't even have to go back and re-read anything for once! Don't tell Matt- he was looking positively harassed by the time I was served my breakfast in bed feast at 9am.

I ate a robust breakfast of pancakes smothered in butter and yummy syrup with a mug of hot coffee surrounded by 3 of my kids jumping on the bed trying to lick the syrup off my pancakes. On a related note- did you know that it doesn't take a whole lot of syrup to make dreadlocks on a 2 year old? I didn't either. I do now. Consider yourself warned. 

I was presented with cards that my kids slaved over all morning and one card from Matt that's too smexy to share on here. Clearly he was hoping to get lucky on Mother's Day. 

After my yummy pancake breakfast...and the cleaning of the aforementioned 2 year old with dreadlocks...I came downstairs to find a beautiful vase full of pretty flowers waiting for me. Such a smart husband- he got me a bouquet full of pretty colors and bought them from a Filipino street vendor. I love that.

After a relaxing morning of doing absolutely nothing but hanging out and enjoying our family, Matt took Mase and Maia out to the car wash to clean my van and surprised me by bringing back some Dunkin Donuts Munchkins and a large Mint Chocolate Chip Iced Coffee. He absolutely knows the way to my heart. Through my stomach- just like a dude.

Clearly the kids liked the Munchkins too. Luckily Matt bought 50 of them. They were gone in 10 minutes. Maybe even less. We spent the rest of the afternoon just hanging out as a family- no chores were done, no laundry was finished, no yard work happened- it was divine. 

For dinner we picked up Five Guys burgers and ate them on a blanket in the middle of the family room floor while we watched Wreck It Ralph as a family. Ty was less than impressed with our movie selection but kept the moaning to a minimum thanks to the never ending bag of fries from Five Guys.

After the kids were showered and pajamed and tucked in bed for the night, Matt and I watched Safe Haven. He voted for Jack Reacher but...Mother's Day. Ha! But even he had to admit- it was a good movie. I enjoyed it as much as I enjoy every Nicholas Spark's movie. 

All in all it was a fabulously fun and lazy Mother's Day- exactly the way I like it. Next weekend we will celebrate with my sister's family and my parents at a big family cook out. I'm excited- steaks and ribs with pasta salad and grilled corn on the cob....frozen margaritas and maybe some hot tub fun. I can't wait!

The Appropriate Time to Panic

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I don't panic much. It takes a lot to make me panic. Yesterday I experienced a moment of pure panic. Panic that I would be the last one left out on the street in plain sight. Let me set the scene for you.

I was driving through my neighborhood with my neighbor behind me. Coming from the opposite direction was my other neighbor. We all waved cheerfully as we turned down our street. Then we saw it.

A car full of Jehovah's Witnesses. Followed by another car full and then another car full.

A Jehovah's Witnesses caravan.

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They were parked on our street, right smack in front of one of the houses. A gaggle of ladies inside them, armed with literature and pamphlets about a religion that does not interest me in any way. You could see the panic in the faces of all 3 of us turning onto our street as we all sped up.

Seriously. It was like turn 4 coming in for the checkered flag in a Nascar race at that moment on our street. Tires squealing and engines revving could be heard at the other side of the neighborhood.

One of our other neighbors was trying desperately to buckle her kids in the carseats so she could make a getaway before the Jehovah's reached her. You could see the desperation on her face as she threw small children into the car.

I screeched to a halt in my driveway and jumped out of the minivan. I could see one neighbor across the street laughing at me as she closed the garage door behind her car. Bitch. I knew I should have cleaned out the garage last weekend. The other neighbor was yelling at her kids to get out of the car as she ran for the garage, abandoning her groceries and her kids in her haste to get inside.

My kids are well versed on the art of Jehovah avoidance. I unbuckled their seatbelts and they were in the house before I could blink. I grabbed my purse and made a run for it. I hit the garage door button and just as the door was hitting the ground I heard it.

"Do you have minute to talk about Jesus Christ?"

Too late. The door closed. Success.

For the next 2 hours if you looked closely, you could see people peeking out the blinds in their front windows to see if the Jehovah's caravan was gone. Later as the moms sat out in our driveways in our lawn chairs watching our kids play with sidewalk chalk and bubbles, we all laughed about our morning moment of panic. The neighbor who left her groceries totally forgot to go back and get them- her frozen food was all defrosted by the time she remembered. She did remember to let her kids in the house though. One neighbor admitted that she left her flip flop in the car. It fell off as she was hustling out of the door and she just left it.  The neighbor trying to leave her house told us she didn't even get her kids buckled in the carseats. She had to pull over at the park so she could strap them in.

Panic.

That is what a caravan of Jehovah's Witnesses inspired in our neighborhood yesterday.

*No offense or disrespect to Jehovah Witnesses intended. But seriously, stop coming to my house.