So What?

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{Unsolicited Admissions of Parenthood Failure at it's Finest}

This weeks edition of So What is a little different. I hope you enjoy it.

So What If:

At our neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt this past weekend I found myself deeply engrossed in a conversation with another mother who also has 5 kids. We were commiserating about the fact the school system added an extra day to Spring Break this year. And by commiserating I mean we were full force bitching about it.  We were very animated with waving hands and rolling eyes. Another mother walked up and joined right in our conversation. Normally this would not be a problem but this particular mother is...well...how do I put this without coming across as a bitch? She's not really my cup of tea. She's the judgemental, high on her horse, know-it-all mother whose main mission in life seems to be making the rest of us look bad. We hate her. Ok so that probably makes me sound like a bitch but I speak the truth.

She butted all up in our pity party with this little tidbit: 'I know you gals are just as excited as I am about Spring Break. I cannot wait to spend some quality time with my kids. We are going to do art projects and bake cupcakes. And on Thursday we are volunteering at the homeless shelter downtown. I think maybe on Friday we'll go around the neighborhood and pick up trash."

Her wide and bright smile was as fake as her boobs. Her words were dripping in false sincerity and I wanted to punch her dead in the face. I managed to squelch the impulse. She looked like a bleeder.

Her false enthusiasm for being stuck in the house with the little dictators that our children seem to be impersonating was met with dead silence and raised eyebrows. Not one to be deterred, she turned her bouncing bobble head towards me. In a tone that I'm sure she reserves solely for people she knows will never live up to her June Cleaver if June Cleaver was taking her kids ADD meds persona, she asked what I had planned for my children over Spring Break.

Chall-unge.

I looked her dead in the face and said 'A week of mind-numbing, soul crushing, ADHD-inducing television watching with a side dish of some violent, rated M for Mature video games.'

Chall-unge accepted.

She left. I can't imagine why.

Linked up at So What Wednesday, Airing my Dirty Laundry, It's Okay and Proud Mommy Moments.