Wherefore Art Thou Neighbors?

Pin It I have talked about my neighbors before. The ones I call The Beverly Hillbillies. The very same ones who had a goat that peed on my house. I even showed you pictures of the disaster of their back yard.

Guess what?

They are moving. Well, technically they have already moved out. They moved out in the middle of the night all stealth like and secretive. We don't know why or where they went. I have my theories but probably best that I keep them to myself just in case I'm right. I'd prefer not to end up on some watch list, it would totally ruin my day.

I only found out that they were gone because I was perusing the houses for sale on line in our neighborhood, judging other people's outdated decor decisions and scoffing at the ridiculously high prices that they seem to think they can get for a house sporting 1980's wallpaper. I happened to come across the listing for the neighbor's dilapidated house. My first reaction was horror at the horribly low asking price. Seriously, they're asking more than $100K less than what homes are selling for in this neighborhood. My second reaction was pure unadulterated glee because I've been itching to know what atrocities lie behind those closed doors. My third reaction was a tiny little glimmer of hope deep inside that someone will buy that house, fix it up and maybe our property value will recover enough that one day we can move to a bigger house.

The interior of the house was as bad as I anticipated. The pictures that the real estate agent, who by the way must be insane to have accepted this listing, put online are not great. Truly, they made me question her judgment. Of course, I snagged a few of the pictures so I could show all of you because I'm totally awesome like that. They are a little blurry because I enlarged them for detail.

This is the formal living room. I know, right? First of all, not really a fan of the outdated 1980's wall color combo, no offense to anyone who still has these colors in their house. Second, what is up with the shelves that are holding random things? Third, they left all those boxes and stuff? Really? I especially like the two different carpets separating rooms. At least I hope they are different carpets and one isn't just more filthy than the other...

The beautiful paint color continues into the dining room and as an added bonus, check out the gorgeous blue wallpaper border that coordinates with the very floral curtains. Again, my apologies and no offense intended if your house happens to look like this.

I am almost at a loss for words with the kitchen. The ceiling....what is going on with the ceiling? And if you're going to remove part of the wallpaper, please just rip it all off. We won't talk about how disgustingly dirty that floor is or...no we just won't talk about it.

This is the family room. Not too bad actually with the exception of the furniture and air mattress on the floor. I thought maybe they moved their furniture out and this was temporary but Ty said no, that this was their furniture. Oh my Gah.

I don't even know what to say about this. I just don't have the words. Other than eeeeeew. That about covers it.

What the heck is that? And why is it in a bedroom? A platform bed is what I hope that pole was supporting. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

So...who wants to be my neighbor and buy this house? Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?

*Disclaimer: I should feel guilty about bad mouthing my neighbors but I do not. There is a back story that includes their kid showing my kid some fetish porn and then there's the whole their goat peed on my house thing. So yeah...not feeling guilty.

Shared with Mama Kat's Writers Workshop.